I recently went to a day of motivational speeches. It was fun, and paid for by three organizations selling their “get rich and be financially independent” programs. I listened – and they were nice. However, I also realized that my goals are not in line with theirs. Yes – I want to help myself. Yes, I want to be able to go for my dreams. Yes, I would love to be able to train almost any time I want instead of strange hours and fitting it around work. Yes, I want to retire comfortably some day. But (and here is the kicker) I want to work. I want to work at a job that I LOVE. I want to be one of those people that looks forward to going to work every day and enjoys (loves) what they do. I want to enjoy the work environment. I want to be productive. I want to enjoy where I spend a bulk of my time they way I enjoy my free time (and training).
But I am not. And that makes me sad on a daily basis. I do not like my job. I do not like the work environment. I do not really like the way my boss manages the office. He’s a good guy – and I like him. We have worked together and it is like a bad marriage. We are both to blame. And I – I want out. I want to find something new.
I would not trade in my time here or coming to my current job. When I started here it was a great job for me and my needs at the time. But it has been 5 years. And I have grown. And I want more. And I do not see that more where I am now. I want a job that doesn’t keep me at my desk 40 hours a week.
I want a job where I get to interact with clients and other personnel. From that description I could be working at a bookstore, or as a maid, or a janitor. I think I want more than that, but if I ended up doing those jobs until I find my passion, so be it.
A part of me is still searching for that ideal job. I am not sure. In my mind I would love to work at a not-for-profit. I am an idealist at heart. I am not so concerned about salary – as long as I am happy, and I see opportunity for growth and expansion in my experiences. Another part of me wants to use my love for business to grow someone else's business and following their passion: Doing the ground work to get a dream going. I have a few other ideas along the same vein: business development. Those are the two areas that interest me...right now.
The more I think about it, the more I think I need to leave where I am – whether I have a job or not. And just gamble. This scares me a little (OK, a lot). But some things you just need to do. I spend too long at the office to be as unhappy as I am here. I know it scares Carlos, but he swings back and forth – when I get really miserable he literally tells me to quit that day. Other days he says “You need to keep working.” I know he trusts me in that I don’t want to not work – but I want enjoy where I work – to find my passion (the way I did with running). I think he just gets nervous about me finding it.
I am putting this out here because if anyone knows of an organization that is willing to work with someone who will work hard, has a lot of skills to offer, but has a lot to learn, and you think it may be a good connection let me know!
I am putting this out there because I want to talk with people who have followed their heart. I would say dream, but I am still working on that. Right now it is a feeling in the heart.
I am putting this out there to ask my friends – are you working at a job you love? If so, how did you discover your passion? What is it that you love about what you do? I am searching for my answers, and looking for guidance from those who are on different paths from me….which is just about everyone!