I sit on the verge of another marathon. I am not nervous or scared. I am looking forward to running another marathon. A part of me is sad as I know this will be my last marathon until after Ironman Arizona, if I get in to IM AZ (that is a whole other subject – IM FL sold out before it opened to on-line registration. Anxiety about this, but also taking it in stride). Back to marathons for now.
So, it will likely be my last marathon until after IM AZ. As much as I love swimming, biking and running, and as much as I love getting to train intensely for 11 months, I will miss pure running. I will be setting aside a few other goals to do this one. But, I plan to work on getting faster and going farther while away from marathons. I doubt training for an IM will make me weak! I just won't get to test it in a pure running mode. Both goals are pushing my boundaries, both are goals. Both, for me right now, are fun. Both are also pushing me away from my minimalist ways. I am learning that it is OK to have dreams. It is OK to go for them. That I will incur judgment from others (heck – with IM AZ too: spending so much money for an ego trip).
Regardless of the direction I go – I need to go for me. I must be dedicated to what I do as I will have people telling me it is the wrong direction. Many friends are going in other directions and I miss them already. I am a bit jealous of where they are going. I am also excited about where I am going. Never in a million years did I expect that I would consider an ironman. But, I can tell you that 6 years ago I never thought I would run a marathon.
And so here I sit.
Part of me is wondering if the era of PR’s is over. If it is – no big deal. It isn’t why I run. However, there is something intoxicating about hitting a PR. I feel strong – cross training and hill work outs. A part of me would love the “reward” of a PR. However – who knows. I don’t. I feel strong - and that is a pretty good feeling, regardless of the outcome.
A part of me is excited about the adventure of what will happen before, during and after the race:, weather, if my body will cooperate or not…and who and when I will see along the course (will Carlos get up early? Will my parents be there early? Probably not but…with each race there is the opportunity), where will my aunts and unless be? It is a bit of an adventure to find people you know. .
I am excited that I get to share something that I love with my family – they have never seen me run for an event (few family members have). Most of my family still associates with me in terms of college and college activities, especially since my Granddaddy and Grandma Fiske went to the University of Michigan. This is something new – my first real ‘adult’ recreational activity.
This is also my first event without Team - even ING this past for which March I trained on my own, I knew a lot of Team people along the course. This one is just me. I am not worried, but it will be different. I love running alone, so I am not worried. There is so much going on when running I do not get bored - I love reading my body, listening to what it says, and working with it and my surroundings. However, seeing friends and family along a course is always exciting - spreading happiness.
And so, as with any new event there is a passing, opportunity and a beginning. I am looking forward to all three.